Type 2 Energy

Mom, Khrystine, Aunt Marie, Dolly (did I miss anyone) recently went to a seminar done by Carol Tuttle on "Dressing Your Truth." Years ago I'd gone with Mom and her friend and Khrystine to lectures done by this woman who called herself an energy healer. This is where we learned about things like chakras, quite New Age ideas and yet some of it, from what little I know, seemed based in very old Eastern philosophies. I always left these lectures feeling unsure of this woman's credibility, wondering if we were dabbling in things inappropriate for our faith, and also learning a heck of a lot about myself and thinking there has to at least be some truth in there.

Mom has talked on her blog about the idea behind this "Dressing Your Truth." Basically it's based on your energy type that manifests itself in everything you are. Mom explains it well so I won't here; if you've ever heard of dressing your season, it's a similar concept.

In one of the lectures I attended so long ago, Ms. Tuttle did hint at this being in the making. At the time I thought "oh great. I'm the flat energy, the one that doesn't really have it's own energy going on but just reflects back to other people what they are." In time, I decided this was a pretty special quality, to be the type of person that gives back to people who they are and helps reflect and magnify their higher qualities.

I don't know how that fits in to the four energy types defined in this program but I had the same sort of reaction as Mom and Khrys told me about the lecture. "Please don't tell me I'm the soft, subtle type." I wanted to be a Type 1 energy. I had just moved into our apartment and was so easily and effortlessly pulled into the ward. We went to a playgroup at the park our first week or so here. I met neighbors and felt alive and like I was finding myself again. I thought maybe I am an outgoing, fun person, I've just never allowed myself to be.

But, when Mom loaned me the book and I read about Type 1, I knew it just wasn't me. I read enough of types 3 and 4 to know they definitely didn't fit and finally gave into the idea that I could be a 2. I read that and knew it was exactly who I am. But, in reading it, I also learned a lot that made it not sound so bad. Like Type 2's are supposed to be the classically pretty ones. I've NEVER thought I could pull off pretty- cute (a type 1 word), maybe, but not pretty. But, I do like things pretty around me. Even when I make dinner, I like to have matching, nice plates and a bit of presentation because I think that's the way things SHOULD be. So, I started considering this energy type.

Then I talked to Mom and Khrys some more and looked at some things on a disk or website. In trying to figure out their energy types, I read more about Type 4. There was A LOT in there that fit me. I was truly surprised. This type is called the "bold, striking" woman. There is NOTHING bold and striking about me in my appearance or my personality. Still, I talked to Mom enough one day to think I have a lot of the characteristics. I found myself looking at me wondering if I couldn't be more bold and striking if I let me, all the while knowing that I am a Type 2.

The point is, it's no fun to read something new and exciting only to find out you already knew it. And frankly, I tend to think of Type 2 personality as boring, easily pushed around, mousy, and childish. We spent years discussing the "season" approach to make-up, colors, etc, trying to decide if I was a Spring or a Summer. As I thought about things in this program, I had to admit that my resistance to being a Summer to the point I actually hated the colors was probably due a lot to the fact that I was in junior high or high school and I didn't want to wear little girl colors and be shy and overlooked. I wanted to be "popular" and fun and I actually hated that so many people signed my yearbook saying "you're so nice," "you're so sweet," etc etc. So here I am a grown up, probably having the same reaction. I actually spent a week or so finding myself reacting to things thinking "but I'm just the doormat" or "I'm too shy" and "it's okay, I don't really like being around people anyway." It was quite crushing.

Well, I've put this stuff on the back burner for a while but the other day Mom loaned me her CD that goes with her book. I watched a bit of it and one thing that really keeps me from saying Carol Tuttle is so smart and really onto something is that it seems like everything she does is just a commercial for something else that she does. You buy the book to read about what she's trying to sell you in the next book. The CD kind of felt like that.

But then I watched the segment that had testimonials. Women who have gone through the whole process and discovered, or perhaps just accepted, their energy types. I have to admit, they all looked amazing. I was kind of impressed that it wasn't just color and appearance. And then came a couple Type 2 ladies talking about their experience. It sounds incredibly sappy of me to say, but I honestly felt like crying. They weren't mousy or doormats or childish. They were incredibly beautiful. And they talked about accepting their quiet natures, their shyness and I could really relate to what they said.

On the page that lists the sections of the CD it also had a slide show going to the side. It would say the type and then show pictures that go with that energy. Not just pictures of people and make-up and fashion, but scenes in nature, animals, things you'd have around your house etc. and even the music is meant to fit the Type. I watched the Type 2 and felt a breath of air. YES! This is what I want of myself.

I went to bed a bit perplexed. It did feel like I've always known this, but where was that person? One question I had was if I'm a soft, subtle woman, how can I lose my temper so quickly and be so mean and ornery with my vivacious, beautiful 2 year old? How come all those beautiful things aren't just easily manifested through and around me?

That's when I thought of the junior high reaction. It would have been way too scary to trudge through adolescence admitting to a soft, subtle nature. It wasn't "cool" in high school to look overly girlie, unless you were too cool and kind of slutty and that kind of girlie looking. And then I thought of my own family and home growing up. I think I was quite nurtured to be the nice girl etc, but I think even then, it was more fun or cool or felt good to be... sassy, spunky, tough, perhaps even tomboyish, funny... Don't read too much into this. It's not an analysis of my childhood, but of my thoughts and reactions. All I'm saying is Mom was a fun, outgoing person. Karen was kind of tough. Ben was funny and my best friend. I related to dad by being like him- hardworking, dedicated to school- and our fun times were when we'd go to a baseball game or watch football. And I guess as I tried to relate or fit in here, I always set aside, to some degree, the fact that I am a quiet, calm (???), feminine, pretty (???) girl.

I'm not explaining it very well. It's not like I'd totally subdued or given up on myself this way. I just haven't fully lived up to my most core qualities. And when I saw them presented in this way, I felt...

SOMETHING!