To Mom and Dad

I feel like I've been whiny lately (ie. the past year or so) so I wanted to say sorry. I really enjoyed being at your new apartment last night. It felt good and it felt right. I really hope that you can make the most of it and have it the way you want it. It looks great! You both really deserve to be happy and have things the way you want them.

I LOVED seeing Dad play with Rayne. It really makes me happy.

Hope and Homelessness

My parents are moving. The house from which they are moving was my grandparents' house. My parents bought it when I was in college and living at home so I moved there too. It's an old house that needs a lot of work... I like to say it has a lot of potential. For example, it has a big old fashioned tub with no shower. Or, there is the huge, energy sucking, probably lined with asbestos furnace in the basement. But, it's in a great neighborhood that I loved taking walks in. And, I spent my college days there, probably the best times of my life :) Not to mention the childhood memories of my grandparents.
I am happy for my parents. They have been talking about their options for a while now and I kept hoping that they would do something. They aren't much for doing their own home repairs and with my dad looking at retirement, it's not like there's a lot of money to pay someone to do the work. Houses in this neighborhood are old and it seems like people like to buy them to gut them out and re-do them. I think my parents will be happy if they can truly sort through all their things and down size. I think letting go of stuff is hard but in a way it's freeing. I think they will be really happy with a bright, sunny apartment where if anything goes wrong they can just call maintenance. And, I'm really glad they are taking my little sister and nephew with them.
It's been fun seeing the new apartment and talking to them about how they will set it up. I can't wait to go visit them... and their swimming pool :)

It's strange when something you believed to be such a constant, changes. But, with that change comes hope for me that life is always changing. It's hard to imagine this change, even as I see it happening. It's hard to really imagine visiting them not at the house, but somewhere else. It's hard to imagine a lot of things in my life right now though and so to see something this unexpected come to pass, reminds me that I am kind of caught in a moment... but it too will most likely pass and change. That's what life does. And in that way, it's hopeful.

On the other hand... I probably shouldn't say what I'm about to, but I need to. I need to say it for me. I need to say it to let it go... somewhere...
I've also been very sad about them moving. Sure there are the memories and the letting go and the fact that change is just hard. But, selfishly, it scares me. Given my current life circumstances, my parents not having a house, my home, has made me feel quite completely homeless.

(This picture has nothing to do with them moving. It's a picture of where I live now and for some reason, I just thought it fit. Maybe next time I'm at my parents' house, I'll take a picture to have for here.)