Last night Caius was worn out by 6 o'clock. He usually is and I've had a particularly hard time getting him to take an afternoon nap lately so that doesn't help. I try to get him to stay up closer to 7 but the truth is, I'm so tired by that time of day and just craving a moment to myself (I feel guilty saying that) that I'm often anxious to get the kids to bed. So Caius was in bed before 7.
He was up twice by 7:15.
So, I kept him up for a while. I knew he was tired but I'm trying this week to follow his lead a bit just to see what he will do, see if it helps me figure any of this sleeping stuff out. I put both kids to bed by 8:15. Caius was up again by 9:15.
This is the point I start to worry. Is something hurting him? Is he EVER going to sleep? Will the whole night be like this? I tried to stay calm. Jeff was getting ready for work by now so I got Caius up again when he didn't seem to want to go back to sleep. After Jeff left, I nursed Caius some more (I was getting sore by now and was afraid his little tummy would be so full he'd hurt but he kept wanting it!). He still didn't go to sleep. Finally I lay him on my bed and rubbed his belly (surprisingly he held still- he really was tired!) and he finally went to sleep. I decided to try sleeping with him, something I've been afraid to do with him but did all the time with Rayne. I prayed about it then got up to brush my teeth and the poor little guy woke up AGAIN! I finished my stuff and took him into his crib and he was out pretty fast. It was after 10 by now.
But guess what! He slept until almost 2! That means I had almost 3 hours of sleep and if felt wonderful! Rayne got up first and Caius soon after. So, I took Caius into Rayne's bed and fed him while they both went back to sleep.
And guess what!? He slept until 5:30! That's another 3 hour block for me! I felt amazing! I fed him again and went back to sleep until Rayne had me up at 6:30. Thankfully, she let me sleep in my bed while she watched Super Why until Caius got up about 7.
It felt like a really good night after the rough start. It wasn't really so rough on me, I tried to stay calm and go with it. But poor little Caius!
Today he napped about 10 but for less than an hour. That's typical but I thought he'd sleep more because he was quite tired. Then we tried for a nap at 2, 3, 4:30 and he finally crashed at 5:30. Kind of late for a nap but I thought maybe if he's up later again, it will work again? He napped less than an hour. I got Rayne to bed before 8 (kind of early for her, but she NEEDS it!) and Caius has been playing with me since. Jeff is getting ready for work and I'm going to try to put Caius to bed. Perhaps will wait until Daddy leaves, but he's getting fussy.
I hope we sleep.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Bedtime Stories
I've been working for over a month on the whole "sleep training" thing. At almost four months old, I could put Caius to bed at 10 and he'd sleep until 4. Then, suddenly, he started getting up every two hours! If he ever slept for three or four hours straight, it felt like forever!
They say babies need to learn to self soothe. That we all wake up in the night, but as adults we know how to go back to sleep without even being aware of it. Babies however will look for whatever they went to sleep with- being held, fed, a pacifier, etc. So, the answer is to leave them alone to go to sleep and to go back to sleep. There are a few variations I've read about. You can go in and pat their back to get them back to sleep. Waiting a few minutes before going in and extending the wait time over a few nights. Etc. What I've read has said that if you are consistent and do it right, sleep training takes only a few nights.
I've taken very small steps feeling like I was working so hard but never really doing it I guess. We've been sick, teething, etc. which all gets in the way. In the end, I'm still getting up every couple of hours and I'm exhausted! And the more I read on the subject, the more I worry that it's harming my baby. I'm failing him by not letting him figure this out- by interfering too much. All in all, I feel like a failure.
I've been keeping a journal and wanting to blog in hopes that somebody somewhere will say something that will click. Disagree with me, encourage me, help me. I feel alone and I feel like I'm failing miserably! I figured I'd start with last night's entry...
Last night was ROUGH. Caius finally had two decent naps yesterday so he wasn't ready to go to bed until closer to 8. He went to sleep in his crib (rather than falling asleep nursing) and didn't wake up in his typical less than an hour. When he did wake up at 10, it took less than five minutes to help him back to sleep. I thought we were off to a good start.
But then he was up again by 11, crying pretty hard. I have been trying to not feed him at night. He's been eating and going to bed early enough that I think he needs to eat at 10 and then try to wait until at least 4. It was our first step. Last night he ate late enough I thought we'd try to go all the way to 4 (the doctor says he doesn't need to eat at night AT ALL!). So, when he got up at 11, I thought it was time to be strong and get us through it. These are the teaching times when he'll learn to go without it and that will teach him to sleep!
Well, he CRIED for an hour. Not fussed, CRIED! I changed him, we walked, talked, prayed- I even turned a light on and tried to play. I tried rocking him, I tried putting him back in his crib.
After an hour, I was done for. How could this be good for my baby!?!? How do I know it's even doing any good and will work!? I got so mad at all the things I've read, the doctors and people I've talked to. I'm supposed to leave him alone to cry and not eat and let him figure it out on his own!?! I prayed and cried , not understanding why God wouldn't just give my baby sleep and fix all this!? I felt so alone. So frustrated. So helpless and hopeless.
Needing to get out my anger, I picked up a toy (Caius was in his crib by the way) and threw it, not thinking it was a clunky toy and would be loud. It scared Caius and he cried harder. Jeff jumped out of bed faster than he knew he could move. I felt really stupid.
It helped a lot to have Jeff up. We decided it wasn't working and the boy needed to eat and I fed him. He ate a lot, not like he was just using it to fall asleep but like he was hungry. And then he slept.
Jeff and I talked for a while. It really helped and I went to bed thinking "see, God does hear my prayers. I just don't always know how to listen." And I think that must be the answer. I'm trying so hard to do this right and follow the rules that I didn't listen to my baby saying he was hungry. I may have even felt an inkling from God to go ahead and feed him. But I was so set on being strong and following through and doing the right thing that I missed it.
As Jeff said, and I guess I forget, every situation is different. I keep trying to find the answer, our plan- schedule, rules! But even on the same kid, each situation is different. I need to listen to THAT!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm really so hard wired to be uptight or if my need for rules and control weren't for survival? If maybe, if I felt safe, I could relax and let go? If in my head I'm set one way, but my heart has always ached to be something different...
They say babies need to learn to self soothe. That we all wake up in the night, but as adults we know how to go back to sleep without even being aware of it. Babies however will look for whatever they went to sleep with- being held, fed, a pacifier, etc. So, the answer is to leave them alone to go to sleep and to go back to sleep. There are a few variations I've read about. You can go in and pat their back to get them back to sleep. Waiting a few minutes before going in and extending the wait time over a few nights. Etc. What I've read has said that if you are consistent and do it right, sleep training takes only a few nights.
I've taken very small steps feeling like I was working so hard but never really doing it I guess. We've been sick, teething, etc. which all gets in the way. In the end, I'm still getting up every couple of hours and I'm exhausted! And the more I read on the subject, the more I worry that it's harming my baby. I'm failing him by not letting him figure this out- by interfering too much. All in all, I feel like a failure.
I've been keeping a journal and wanting to blog in hopes that somebody somewhere will say something that will click. Disagree with me, encourage me, help me. I feel alone and I feel like I'm failing miserably! I figured I'd start with last night's entry...
Last night was ROUGH. Caius finally had two decent naps yesterday so he wasn't ready to go to bed until closer to 8. He went to sleep in his crib (rather than falling asleep nursing) and didn't wake up in his typical less than an hour. When he did wake up at 10, it took less than five minutes to help him back to sleep. I thought we were off to a good start.
But then he was up again by 11, crying pretty hard. I have been trying to not feed him at night. He's been eating and going to bed early enough that I think he needs to eat at 10 and then try to wait until at least 4. It was our first step. Last night he ate late enough I thought we'd try to go all the way to 4 (the doctor says he doesn't need to eat at night AT ALL!). So, when he got up at 11, I thought it was time to be strong and get us through it. These are the teaching times when he'll learn to go without it and that will teach him to sleep!
Well, he CRIED for an hour. Not fussed, CRIED! I changed him, we walked, talked, prayed- I even turned a light on and tried to play. I tried rocking him, I tried putting him back in his crib.
After an hour, I was done for. How could this be good for my baby!?!? How do I know it's even doing any good and will work!? I got so mad at all the things I've read, the doctors and people I've talked to. I'm supposed to leave him alone to cry and not eat and let him figure it out on his own!?! I prayed and cried , not understanding why God wouldn't just give my baby sleep and fix all this!? I felt so alone. So frustrated. So helpless and hopeless.
Needing to get out my anger, I picked up a toy (Caius was in his crib by the way) and threw it, not thinking it was a clunky toy and would be loud. It scared Caius and he cried harder. Jeff jumped out of bed faster than he knew he could move. I felt really stupid.
It helped a lot to have Jeff up. We decided it wasn't working and the boy needed to eat and I fed him. He ate a lot, not like he was just using it to fall asleep but like he was hungry. And then he slept.
Jeff and I talked for a while. It really helped and I went to bed thinking "see, God does hear my prayers. I just don't always know how to listen." And I think that must be the answer. I'm trying so hard to do this right and follow the rules that I didn't listen to my baby saying he was hungry. I may have even felt an inkling from God to go ahead and feed him. But I was so set on being strong and following through and doing the right thing that I missed it.
As Jeff said, and I guess I forget, every situation is different. I keep trying to find the answer, our plan- schedule, rules! But even on the same kid, each situation is different. I need to listen to THAT!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm really so hard wired to be uptight or if my need for rules and control weren't for survival? If maybe, if I felt safe, I could relax and let go? If in my head I'm set one way, but my heart has always ached to be something different...
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