Happy

I know it sounds like stating the obvious, but as I watched Rayne laughing so hard as she blew a cotton ball across the table with a straw, it occurred to me that my job  number one priority should be to help that girl be happy. She's not even three and a half and she has high anxiety for crying out loud! Discipline and behavior and blah blah blah are not our concerns here. She needs to be happy! She needs to laugh!
Now, I'm not talking about giving her everything she wants and feeding her cookies for breakfast. I'm talking about the things you do as a mother anyway but perhaps need to be upped to critical importance here. Like watching her sugar levels- not letting her have too much because she needs to stay balanced as well as making sure she eats enough nourishing stuff. And yes, I'm talking about having fun. Making sure she gets to go outside when her friends are out because she NEEDS it. Putting off housework and just playing, chasing her, goofing around. Making her feel relaxed and uplifted and like she doesn't have to worry. Perhaps all my stressing really does wear off on her.
Hmpf, I've said this all before but thinking about it in this new light was important to me.

And with all this talk, I want to remember Caius. My little angel Caius. I can't stand to admit it but sometimes I do feel resentment that he gets ignored because I'm so busy dealing with this other stuff. Sometimes I hate leaving him with Grandma and Krush because I don't want him to be left out because he's the "good" one and will put up with it (not that he's not happy there or that I'm not very happy that it's okay with him). I just want him to have all my attention too. When I say all this about Rayne, he too is definitely a part of it. He needs to be happy and peaceful too. I don't want him to ever feel forgotten.