BFFs

I have often and always said that my mom is one of my best friends. Even in junior high, where being cool is the big thing, she is the one I wanted to talk to about boys, friends, school stresses, all the big important things.
I've read and heard a lot about how the problem with kids nowadays is that parents are too worried about being cool and being friends with their kids. Kids need limits and to be told no and they need guidance and supervision etc. I've been convinced that kids really do need these boundaries. I feel like I've been trying really hard for at least the past year to get some control around here and be in charge. People, even people I really trust and love, have made comments that make me worry I'm too lax with my kids. I worry about what it will be like when the kids are 10, 13, 16, even 20. If I don't take charge now, they will be rebellious, horrible people doing things just because I told them not to and I don't know how to make them behave.
Last night I read a blog (It's a blog I found through a blog through a blog through a blog :) and the woman was writing about how much she needed her mom who had recently come to stay from out of town. This woman has four daughters and said she often wonders how they see her. She found three videos one of the daughters had made on her iPad that all started with the daughter saying "let me tell you about..." and then said the mom's first name. The first video cut out so the girl could take a shower, the second one so she could brush her teeth. The mom was really worried. If the daughter was using the mom's first name, it must be bad! She braced herself for the third video. The girl said, "let me tell you about... She's my best friend."
I know I'm sappy but it made me cry a bit. I cried because once upon a time, THAT was my mom philosophy. I wanted to be the kind of person my kids would come to when they needed help, love, support, someone to love them no matter what they were thinking or doing, when they don't fit in or are standing out. I want to be the kind of person that they would want my opinions and advice because they would know that I know something, that I believe in something, and most of all that I love them and want what's best for them, and even if they didn't agree or follow my advice, they'd at least have that teaching as an anchor from which to figure out what they do believe in.
As I lay in bed thinking about this last night, I realized that the advice not to worry so much about being the kids' friend is for a different kind of parent. It's to the parents who want to be cool so much they let them wear inappropriate clothes or give them their first beer or let them get away with things to the point it's like the parent is encouraging the rebellious behavior because they figure it's better to be a part of it than to have the kid be out on their own doing it anyway.
I think, I hope, I believe... that if I try to truly be-friend my children that they will grow up with a strong sense of themselves. That I can be the kind of friend that cheers them on and helps them be a better person. The true friend that accepts them for who they are. That speaks  kindly but frankly. And if I can do that, I think my children will grow up to be smart, moral, responsible people. And that's all I really want for them.