Reeling it in

If Rayne has a general feeling of anxiety in most situations, to the point that she has some real fears of being away from Mommy, why would the answer be to push her out on her own? I mean, I understand the thinking behind it and helping her learn to be okay on her own, but she's only three. She's already had things and people she was afraid of become not so scary and she's told me that now she grew up, she's not afraid anymore. I just feel that the answer is to bring her closer, not push her away.

If Jeff and I both have a hard time being around people and out doing things, being involved etc, why would I  think my kids are going to be that different from us. Of course we are aware and don't want to give them our hang ups. We try to push ourselves a bit knowing the kids need it. I actually like being around people even though it's hard for me so I try to be confident and friendly and show Rayne how to be that way. Jeff doesn't like going out and doing things, but he'll do it because he wants to be with his kids and he knows these things are good for them.
That said, when I recognize in Rayne that she's overwhelmed, tired, stressed by certain situations, people, or just the amount of time we've spent being out, I think the right answer is to bring her home, give her some quiet time, time in her/our space. Caius, so far, does better. I need to be careful not to hold him back but even he is bothered by loud noises, needs his regular naps and to be fed quite on schedule. He has his own little sensitivities I want to take care of, not push him past them.
I always look at other people and all their activities and outgoing-ness and feel like I'm not measuring up. I've always felt like there was something wrong with me because I was shy and felt awkward, but the truth is, I never really wanted to be the center of attention and all that. And maybe there's just nothing wrong with that. And maybe it's okay not to think my kids need all that too. When I look at them, it doesn't seem, yet, to be part of their characters. We're all kind of shy and introverted... in a way. And maybe I just need to pull us in, not push us out.