We don't get the best radio reception where we live. But, there is a little radio in the kitchen here that I'll turn on if I'm home alone (meaning Jeff's in bed and it's just me and Rayne) and I'm trying to clean up. A while back, I found one station that I used to think was for "old people" (not that I didn't like it). I was surprised at all the good stuff they were playing. Saturday, I had the radio on that station again. There were some songs I haven't heard in a long time and used to love. I thought they should at least give me a pleasant nostalgic feeling but instead I found them quite silly. Not fun silly. Annoying silly. And the songs I never did like? They were infuriating! I couldn't believe that anyone would MAKE such songs, let alone that someone would think they were good enough to put on the radio! And the really frustrating thing? I'm sure there are people who like them! I was seriously getting annoyed.
I am very pregnant. My feet have again swollen to hobbit-like proportions and are very sympathetic to hot dogs right before they split open. I hurt to walk. I can't stand up and breathe at the same time. I lose my patience way too easily. Etc, etc, etc. By Sunday night, I was feeling things that made me really wonder if I was starting labor. I kind of hoped so but I also got scared.
I feel kind of guilty that I've complained so much this pregnancy. I am excited for this baby. I am very grateful to be pregnant again. I think I complain as a way of asking for help. Or so that I don't feel so stupid about having a hard time getting anything done.
Anyway... I have felt strangely good today. Not so much physically, although that has been better too- even my feet haven't been so swollen. But emotionally, I've just felt calm and happy. I spent a VERY pleasant day with Rayne. She has been so sweet and calm today too. I've felt happy and excited today. I even did a lot of nothing and didn't feel guilty about it.
Jeff's step dad keeps teasing us that the storm is coming; we're going to have Rayne and Snow (no, we're not naming him snow. He's just being funny). Perhaps today was the calm before the storm. I'm very determined to ride out the hard parts with thanks and happiness. I really love my children!
Beautiful! I love you! I am glad you had a great day!
ReplyDeleteHang in there!
ReplyDeleteSome of those old movies I thought were so great when I was your age are rediculous now. I can't figure out what we were so entranced with.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty about anything right now. Just sit down, put your feet up, and call out for people to do this or that for you. It won't last long, won't hurt them, and might even do you some good. Hope to see you soon. I can sense that Rayne is growing up and into this new role. The rest of us will too. The focus is on you and the baby, so just relax.
yeah it's a beach.. not that i know from presonal experience but jenny had a bugger of a time too. and when you have it boy it genrally rides lower and that alone adds fifty more things to deal with. i can't wait to you have him and i love his name but find that joke really frickin funny (course i'm seriously retarted these days)
ReplyDeletewe will help in anyway we can or that you want. try not to worry.
i'm glad you two had an easier day. you need and deserve it. i guess i don't want to leave an email here but miss running into you at mudders.
I just went back to your rainbow blog. It was nice to see Rayne again as a baby. Now I am way excited to welcome Caius into the world.
ReplyDelete