I got in bed after writing my last post the other night and thought, well duh. The problem is I don't believe there is a PROBLEM. The next day, we had quite a rough morning. We calmed down and by the time we were going to bed that night, it felt like it had been a good day. But I had to cry and sort through all the emotions to Jeff. And finally the fog cleared.
I truly do not believe there is something wrong with Rayne.
Her whole little life, people have been telling me she cries too much, too loudly, too hard, over the "wrong" things, in the "wrong" way, she's too attached to me, she has the "wrong" reaction when a scary, gruff uncle comes in the room (yes, she does have more than one). She does have extreme emotions and some high anxiety to be concerned about, but the only real problem is that I've let all these things get in my head. I know I'm overly sensitive as well and perhaps take things the wrong way, but it's not completely unfounded that this has come from other people. And sure, I may like some help or guidance in knowing how to help her. But I really don't think there is anything more than that to worry about. I'll just keep reading and being there for her. Isn't that what a Mom is supposed to do?
Another observation: Today I saw that the before mentioned friend posted a thing on Facebook about doing an earthquake drill with her three year old so if it happens she won't be so scared. "Are you crazy???" I thought. But then I got it. I was the kind of kid that when they taught about germs and washing your hands in first grade, I became obsessive. If the cat or dog even walked in the room, I thought I had to go wash my hands. I washed my hands so much they got raw and chapped and my parents had to tell me to stop and teach me it was okay NOT to wash your hands sometimes. And I remember doing fire drills at school and learning that we should do them at home and I cried. I tried not to cry at school during the drills, but I was scared. And I cried and even prayed at home (yes I was only 7 or 8 years old) that our house wouldn't burn down because I was so scared. And my kid is just like I was/am. If I were to do earthquake drills with her, she would be waking up at night having nightmares about earthquakes. So different kids, different moms, different ways of being. My point is, I know my kid. My other point is, how in the world did this friend's comments get to me so much!?!? Bah! "Out damn spot!"
Hi...well I got here and read your blog. What an accomplishment for me.
ReplyDeleteI think whenever a baby cries, anybody's baby, EVERYBODY in the whole flippin place wants to help. They ALL have suggestions and help to offer. Sad to say, they behave as if you don't know anything. What I always hated was this question: "Does he/she have gas??!" i always thought, "That's none of your **** business!" They meant well. But I'm not sure that is what your friend seems to be doing. I think she's trying to impress you with what she knows about this subject and wants you to be really awestruck or something. Or maybe she wants to get into a really big discussion on the matter because she's worried about someone else's child...like her own. If it was seriously a concern, it doesn't seem like most people would just toss it out in the air like that. They might want to bring it up to you in a more conservative way, with some caution and empathy. So, the whole thing just doesn't fit right and you should just forget it. And don't you think there would be someone else who notices....your doctor or your dad, for example??? Like somebody has said..Consider the Source.
Anyway, it's too bad about whoever it is who wants to set her poor child up for life with fear of earthquakes. Has she thought about how one might explain what an earthquake IS to a three year old? How do you describe that??? And it's hard to imagine a tiny girl remembering whatever the instructions are in a situation like that. Kids scream for their mother or father to come get them. They don't know what to do. A lot of things are learned by experience, by watching it happen. That's just how it works. I realize all this might be just my opinion, but it's true!!!!! Stick with us. We can tell you anything you need to know.......except maybe how to get that stuff out of your head. ^.^)
Love ya....
I realize I'm thousands of miles away and can't possibly give an informed opinion, for as little as I've seen Rayne during her lifetime. But even so, I urge you not to take things too seriously or worry too much. A child can be normal and still be incredibly difficult or emotional or what have you. I think your instincts are probably the right thing to follow, and that means the things you feel in your heart when you're connecting with yourself, not when you're worrying about other people's comments. I'm really hoping you've moved past this concern by now, but if not, keep trying to.
ReplyDeleteThank you both for being here... it really is good to hear your voices. Ben, I like that you said a child can be normal AND difficult etc. I think I forget or people forget.
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