Today I remembered reading that babies don't separate themselves from their environment. I'm not sure when this changes. I know they say the terrible twos are caused in part because the child is learning that they are their own person and they are asserting their boundaries. What I read gave the example that a baby will quickly learn that kicking the side of his crib results in the mobile shaking or making noise. He will then repeat this over and over. However, if the wind happens to blow the curtain at the same time and he notices, he thinks it is the result of what he did and he will try in vain and even get frustrated trying to cause the same result.
My thought of the day is that perhaps Caius' cries aren't so emotional as they are seeking a desired result. I'm hungry, I'm tired, I need mommy, I want to be held. This means that if my desired result is different than his, maybe it's not so hard or so mean for me to insist on it and teach him that this crying results in A and not B. I don't know if I can outlast him or remember that his little feelings aren't being hurt and I'm not doing him emotional/psychological damage, but I found this to be a helpful and interesting thought. What do you think?
It can get so confusing. I think you have to trust yourself and do what feels right, which can be something you need at the time, not them. Sounds harsh, I know, but it won't hurt them to give to you. And it's good that you and I have talked already because I don't know what to say.
ReplyDeleteI love your new pictures of Caius. It's so great to see your new header photo of both of your kids! You are a mom with two kids! Crazy!!! I have learned the hard way that I have to take care of me because no one else is going to do it. If my needs aren't met, I can't give to my children. I love you! I can't wait to hear about and see pics of your new place!
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