Misunderstood?

Yesterday morning, Rayne was playing with two bears, a black and a pink one. The day before, she carried the black one around saying "you're such a good bear" and "mommy, look how cute" (the way she says cute is more like toot and it's really... well, cute!). Yesterday as I got breakfast pulled together, she got in Grandma's cupboard and got out four dish cloths. She took the black bear to one chair, laid out one cloth, put the bear on top and then covered him with another cloth telling him to take a nap. Then she did the same with the pink bear on another chair. Finally she was ready to climb up in the high chair for her Cheerios.
She has been VERY independent lately. I can't lift her to the chair or do the buckles. This is fine and good except when it scares mommy or I simply can't stand there that long. I was having a hard time standing yesterday and was glad she finally got in the chair. Just then, Grandpa Joe came in the kitchen. She stared him down in her affectionate way.
Rayne and "Poppy Joe" have a special relationship. I think they both adore each other and are a bit intimidated. Joe is a teaser and he appears and sometimes talks gruff and rough, but he's really quite sweet. Rayne loves to give him things and make him play but she won't give him any affection. I believe in letting her set her own limits so she always knows it's okay to say no. Sometimes I feel a need to be a mediator as far as that goes. So, as he came in, I said something about them having a staring contest and she really gave him a look. He sat down in the chair next to her.
Oops. She got so sad and started to cry. Grandpa Joe had sat, as far as she could tell, on the pink bear. After she'd worked so hard and with such care! I think he was embarrassed but sometimes I also think he gets a bit... annoyed by her reactions. I don't blame him for feeling bad when they were just playing and he quickly left, not with rude comments but something about her having "an attitude." I wasn't sure what to think or how Rayne would feel should she understand any of it. When he talked about it later, I think he gets that she's just a sensitive girl and he sat on her bear. But at the time I wasn't sure he did.
Sometimes I feel like people think I should change her reacting this way. That it's more of a spoiled or "bad" reaction. I know, because I can relate and I've seen it in almost all the children in my family, that she's just really sensitive. It's not just a toy, the bear might not be okay, it could be hurt, her hard work was disregarded, etc etc. I don't want to change that about her- how sweet and sensitive and conscientious she is. I don't think she should have to censor her feelings as hard as they are for any of the rest of us to "deal with."
She's really not spoiled. Sometimes I worry we are headed in that direction, but I really think that a lot of parent/children problems come from not understanding the kids' view or feelings.
Not to say I'm perfect. I've done better this week with my patience but it is VERY hard to stand there for so long when she could just get in the chair. But... isn't that my job as her mother? To give her what she needs even if it means giving up a bit myself (I say in my sleep deprived state). I wanted to discuss my thoughts and feelings more but she's done making her dinner mess and I have to go free her from the high chair. And I guess that's kinda my point anyway...