So it wasn't my final answer

I again need to discuss food. I have relaxed quite a bit since my last post about it. I've been eating and feeling much better (aside from a weekend and a few days of my blood sugar going up and down like crazy for no reason I could figure out). But my kids and hubby? Sometimes I'm just appalled at what we live on!
So today my question is, what do I do about them? Does anyone out there really make dinner, put it on the table and they can take it or leave it and you don't worry about the kid starving to death? What about the total melt down and physical outbursts that totally seem to go better when she's eaten something- even if it is waffles and syrup or sugary cereal?
So many times I have written plans and lists and menus and, to give myself credit, I don't do too badly. But there is always an exception. There is always a down side. Very often I end up making two or even three dinners. It's driving me crazy! I've even resolved to fine, I only have two kids and I don't care if I have to make one of them something special that she will eat. Honestly, I try to plan around what the hubby wants and likes. I'm getting bold and a time or two a week, I make what I want whether he likes it or not. But, I decided, or tried to plan, that maybe I'm the exception. I'll make something for my boys as "what's for dinner" and then I'll make my healthy something and as long as I'm doing that, I might as well make something for the girl to eat. Ugh! I really am ridiculous aren't I?

I was talking to my mom the other day about something else and we came to the conclusion that I am the queen of the castle and I have to set the way things go. It would actually be better for my kids, I think, if I would step up and set some rules and boundaries. I think this is true of food too.
But how in the heck do I do it!?!? Somehow, I have to just set the expectation and stick with it.

What we (should) eat:

Breakfast: I like the idea of a breakfast bar. Some cereal and/or bread items. Fruit. Milk. Sometimes eggs. Then they can kind of pick and choose.

Lunch: What is wrong with sandwiches??? I like the idea of a sandwich (for me that can be a lot of veggies or even a salad with a salad bar type set up for the kids- again so they can choose!) and some fruit.

Afternoon snack: Fruit, nuts/nut butter/yogurt/cheese, maybe some crackers

Dinner: I am buying into the idea of meat and vegetables. We can switch things up with some spaghetti or tacos (things we eat often).

Bedtime snack: I do feel the kids need it and sometimes by the time I'm going to bed and we've had an early dinner, I do too. But something simple. Bread and butter? Chocolate milk, cereal... I like the idea of a healthy cookie. Nobody eats them but me. And what I've made isn't that healthy, I just think if it has peanut butter or oatmeal in it and I made it rather than opened a package, it's healthy enough.