January is flying by! I can't believe it's February tomorrow. I just wanted to take a minute to catch up to myself and what we've been up to.
That house organization I was so proud of before? Yah, it's slowly falling undone. At least the basic structure is still in place and perhaps I just need to get back on top of things again. I rearranged Caius' room, again, to accommodate his toys and make for a better play place. He seems to like it and is SO good about putting things away when he's done. I think he likes to be a bit clean and organized! (PS he changes his clothes if they even get a drop of water on them. He definitely likes to be a bit neat and tidy!). Rayne's room on the other hand is quite a mess! And if I start doing anything in there, she kicks me out. I know, I know. She's four and I'm the boss but I do believe in respecting her space to some degree at least. Perhaps tomorrow I'll get in there and straighten up. I did a little today. We'll see how long that lasts!
Jeff has been pretty much unemployed since last July. It's incredibly frustrating! He had a job interview this week that he was actually excited about but he didn't get it. However, they did tell him that the only reason the other guy got it was that the other guy has experience. Jeff is definitely on the list if they have an opening or this guy doesn't work out etc. Here's hoping. Or hoping for anything really. We are receiving a tax refund that will help us tremendously to get through in the mean time but...
As for me, I have been looking into computer coding. It is pretty exciting actually. I feel like I haven't used this part of my brain for quite some time. There is a website that teaches some of this stuff for free! I have a friend who works doing coding and has had some good opportunities to work from home. That is my goal at the moment. Supposedly, with my math degree and some learning I will be a good candidate. My dad has also talked to me about this, in fact that's where it all started, and has been told that there are good opportunities out there.
Another thing that has been on my mind is that Rayne will be five this year and starting kindergarten. I know I think too much, but I've been thinking and pondering on our options since she was three! I kind of wish I didn't know there were options so we'd just have the mind set that she starts public school in the fall. (Perhaps that is my answer?). But we've really been thinking that we will do online school, at least for the first year or two.
Jeff is concerned about the academic. Frankly, she is quite a bright kid and he doesn't think she'll be challenged. He was often bored in school. I worry about her emotions and anxiety and that this will lead to "behavior problems." I don't want her to be labelled as the bad kid because she acts out when she gets frustrated, scared, challenged, embarrassed, etc. And she feels these things often in a day!
At this point, I'm just trying to think of how to look into things and how to think about the decision. I can't help feeling I can't be everything for her and a school setting would do her a lot of good. But I also don't want to just throw her into deep waters and hope she can swim.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Mommy thoughts
Something happened yesterday that made me realize how truly blessed I am to have a mother like mine. I've always loved and appreciated and been grateful for her, but I realized how rare it is to have a mother that is truly nurturing, encouraging and kind. Someone who rubs your ankles when you sit in the dentist's chair, no matter how old you are. Who talks you through your crazy dreams and seemingly insurmountable shortcomings without making you feel stupid or corrected. I don't remember ever fighting with my mom.
A while back I wrote a post about wanting to be my childrens' best friend. I've since wondered if that was the right way to phrase it. If maybe I didn't mean their cheerleader or confidant. More recently I've thought it's not realistic to think of being a friend to them. I've felt like my children really lack discipline and manners and need to be taught things I'm not teaching them because I'm too lenient and willing to let them play. I've even somewhat set some goals to get them to be more independent and do things on their own.
Okay perhaps this is all fine and maybe even true. But...
I was reminded yesterday that I want to be like my mom. I want to be a mom who is always encouraging and kind. I don't believe we are given the job to create people. I believe we are given people to help become their best selves. I want them to learn and grow in themselves, for who they are. And I DO believe a lot of who and what they are came that way. I don't want to discourage them or even correct them in a certain sense.
I rearranged the living room furniture the other day. They LOVE running around and around and over the couch and chair. I believe in letting them do this. I also believe it's not okay to do at grandma's house, but this is THEIR home and I want them to be happy and comfortable and free to do and explore and play. These things come first. The independence, the manners, the discipline come later.
A while back I wrote a post about wanting to be my childrens' best friend. I've since wondered if that was the right way to phrase it. If maybe I didn't mean their cheerleader or confidant. More recently I've thought it's not realistic to think of being a friend to them. I've felt like my children really lack discipline and manners and need to be taught things I'm not teaching them because I'm too lenient and willing to let them play. I've even somewhat set some goals to get them to be more independent and do things on their own.
Okay perhaps this is all fine and maybe even true. But...
I was reminded yesterday that I want to be like my mom. I want to be a mom who is always encouraging and kind. I don't believe we are given the job to create people. I believe we are given people to help become their best selves. I want them to learn and grow in themselves, for who they are. And I DO believe a lot of who and what they are came that way. I don't want to discourage them or even correct them in a certain sense.
I rearranged the living room furniture the other day. They LOVE running around and around and over the couch and chair. I believe in letting them do this. I also believe it's not okay to do at grandma's house, but this is THEIR home and I want them to be happy and comfortable and free to do and explore and play. These things come first. The independence, the manners, the discipline come later.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Happy New Year
I have been thinking of New Year Resolutions for a while. I haven't been too strict about writing them down and planning things out, but there are definitely a few things I am working on. I am happy to report that I am taking strides.
Eat healthy! This is the year I want to get rid of processed foods. Jeff and I have talked about keeping sugar and treats out of the house. The kids', especially one of them, behavior seems very affected by the amount of sugar consumed. I'd also like to put the food on the table and say eat it or not, it's up to you. I think the kids are still a bit young for strict adherence to this one. And the same kid that seems so affected by sugar also won't eat to save her life but gets extremely moody when hungry. I also have goals to use table cloths and to not let anyone say what they don't like, but just to eat what they do and say thank you.
Organize my house! I have dreams of my closets and kids' rooms looking like the pictures in Pottery Barn kids. But in reality, those pictures have no kids or very little and unrealistic activity going on. And, I can't afford such fanciness. Right now, most of my storage containers consist of old diaper boxes wrapped in shelf lining paper I bought at the Dollar Store- genius right? But I am happy to say that this last week things feel like they are falling into place. I at least feel like I have places to keep the stuff when we do clean up and I have managed to pack away a lot of old, unused and/or broken stuff. I've also created a few "pretty" spots in my house. The kids are getting old enough I feel safe bringing out some of my pretty things and I've made a few spots pretty and functional!
Stop worrying! I worry about everything. And then I worry about worrying. And worry how worrying effects my health. And how my health and worrying effect my children and the energy in my house. Then I worry about my whole role as mother and if I'm doing anything right and that of course leads to my eternal salvation! Aye! Things have been tough lately in several ways. But somehow things work out. People help and we are provided for. I will keep praying, keep breathing, and have faith. One day at a time. I'm learning how to do that.
Eat healthy! This is the year I want to get rid of processed foods. Jeff and I have talked about keeping sugar and treats out of the house. The kids', especially one of them, behavior seems very affected by the amount of sugar consumed. I'd also like to put the food on the table and say eat it or not, it's up to you. I think the kids are still a bit young for strict adherence to this one. And the same kid that seems so affected by sugar also won't eat to save her life but gets extremely moody when hungry. I also have goals to use table cloths and to not let anyone say what they don't like, but just to eat what they do and say thank you.
Organize my house! I have dreams of my closets and kids' rooms looking like the pictures in Pottery Barn kids. But in reality, those pictures have no kids or very little and unrealistic activity going on. And, I can't afford such fanciness. Right now, most of my storage containers consist of old diaper boxes wrapped in shelf lining paper I bought at the Dollar Store- genius right? But I am happy to say that this last week things feel like they are falling into place. I at least feel like I have places to keep the stuff when we do clean up and I have managed to pack away a lot of old, unused and/or broken stuff. I've also created a few "pretty" spots in my house. The kids are getting old enough I feel safe bringing out some of my pretty things and I've made a few spots pretty and functional!
Stop worrying! I worry about everything. And then I worry about worrying. And worry how worrying effects my health. And how my health and worrying effect my children and the energy in my house. Then I worry about my whole role as mother and if I'm doing anything right and that of course leads to my eternal salvation! Aye! Things have been tough lately in several ways. But somehow things work out. People help and we are provided for. I will keep praying, keep breathing, and have faith. One day at a time. I'm learning how to do that.
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