Sunday, March 24, 2013

Checking back in... I hope

I was really enjoying blogging more regularly and checking in with myself. I've been wanting to blog for some time now. So here I am finally, again with the goal of doing it more often.
So what is new?
Last Monday I had three wisdom teeth pulled. It was more complicated than anticipated and I felt horrible afterward. It's Sunday night and I'm still suffering but I think I'm getting better.
With our tax refund, I've been able to get a few fun things recently, besides my teeth pulled I mean- some new shirts, a book, a rug, and today I bought a cute little garden welcome thing with turtles on it. It's been fun and in some way relaxing to be able to get some things just because I want them and like them.
I started taking Zoloft about a week before Christmas and it has changed my life. They say it can take about three weeks to get into your system but I felt like I felt it right away. I am so much more calm. I don't lose my temper. I feel like myself and like I'm able to do things the way I want to and closer to what is true to my values than I was before. This last week, being in pain, it's been hard again to stay calm and patient with the kids. I've lost my tempered, cried, haven't been able to do much with them and it's been horrible! It has reminded me of how I felt before Zoloft. I don't ever want to go back to that.
Today is my 6th wedding anniversary. I've been in pain and Jeff's been fighting a migraine. Last night, he would get bloody noses and then his head would feel better. Is that something to be concerned about? It makes me worry! And they are having him work an extra day this week (meaning tonight) so he has been sleeping all day. So much for celebrating.
Six years suddenly doesn't sound so long. I don't think I remember before I was married and more specifically before having kids. I guess I have settled into this life.
Settled.
I do feel like things have finally been settling lately. I feel like we are finally at a point where we are just in our life and I'm not worrying what comes next and what it should be like now. We are here. We are happy. The weather has warmed up enough a few times now that the kids and I have played outside. They are getting more independent. Rayne got a new bike- two wheels with training wheels- and is doing wonderfully on it. Caius inherited her tri-cycle and has already figured it out. I feel happy and have been doing things and reading things to get in touch with myself again. I really do feel happy.
Imagine that!

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