Rules

For the record, I've been feeling a lot better since my last post. I felt rather hit in the head with things but it's helped  make me (or perhaps I should say given me permission to?) look at myself and what I need and what needs to be happening around here. I've had some really constructive thoughts and some deep breaths. I should also note that it's not like I'm in crisis here, not wallowing away or anything. We are doing okay. I just need to get better.
I've been thinking for a while about schedules, rules, and routines. They say kids really need them. I know I really need them. I've also wished that I could not be like that and just go with the flow and be more relaxed about things. Perhaps the two are not related (structure vs. not stress). I've found myself really thinking about rules the last few days.
Rules are hard for me when it comes to the children. I tend to err on the side of thinking they are too young to really know any better but I think I still find myself expecting a lot of the kids and being surprised I've had to repeat myself so many times about certain issues. I think I've heard that children can handle about one rule for every year of age and that gets complicated too. I feel that something like "be nice" is too general a rule but "don't hit your brother" quickly expands into no hitting, kicking, biting, pushing, name calling, yelling... and that's just too much. The other problem I have is knowing that I have to enforce and be consistent with whatever rules I do make official. I find it too easy to make exceptions or that if we're at the store that's different than being at grandma's which is different than at home and... I guess I have a hard time with the consistency thing.
So, it finally dawned on me the other day that it's not THEM that needs rules, it's ME. If I give the rules to myself, being the one that has to follow through with them anyway, they (the kids) would kind of fall into place. The hardest things for me right now are bedtime and eating. I suppose I could write a whole blog just on these issues. But I thought I'd start with what I need with those things... oh and maybe some personal space/time for Mama... and give myself some rules and then things can go from there.
So, this is a working list, a start. I've been thinking about them for a while but have yet to solidify it all:

EATING:
Meals and snacks will be served at the table at certain times. Eating other than this is frowned upon- that means you too Daddy who lives on his own schedule.
Exceptions may be (or maybe should not be):
breakfast is really much easier if I just get a big bowl of cereal and I feed them while sitting on the couch as we wake up, watch t.v., get Daddy home etc. Hm. Saying it out loud sounds really dumb and perhaps breakfast should be a better start to our day?
I'm seriously considering today buying a big plastic table cloth and spreading it on the floor as a picnic blanket for some snacks and perhaps lunchtime.
Also need to consider sippy cups. I'd like to get rid of them for anyone over two years old? Or does that give one kid something the other can't have? But definitely need to rid us of carrying them around the house.

BEDTIME:
snack at 6:30 after changing diapers, getting on pj's etc
7:00 both kids brush teeth, come hair
Rayne to her room for quiet play, Caius bedtime
I was thinking tonight that if Rayne would play alone for an hour (she was doing well with that for a while), I could just say  7-8 is Caius' bedtime and 8-9 is for Rayne. If Caius is asleep sooner, yay! (he usually is) and Mommy gets some time to read or something. I think it helped Rayne sleep to play alone in her room- know it's her space, she's safe alone etc. Plus, then I don't feel like it takes 2 hours just to get kids to bed.
Bedtime routines: we're pretty good on this one! Books, stretches, bed
The problem is, Caius often wakes up within an hour of going to sleep and this often interrupts Rayne's time. Suggestions?!?!?!
Jeff's time is 9-9:30
9:30-10:30 Mommy time- this means doing what I WANT and something so I can rest. Not catching up/finishing up housework, folding laundry (I do find that relaxing sometimes) etc. I'm serious on this one JoAnna-force yourself to relax! :)

MAMA NEEDS SOME PRIVACY AND SELF TIME:
I think I will start with, if Daddy is here/awake, Mommy goes to the bathroom or gets dressed alone. Rayne really struggles with this. Even if she's playing or watching a movie, if I go in the bathroom, she at least has to come check on me or something.
I've been making Jeff let me shower in the morning (instead of at night after kids go to bed) at least a few times a week (I shower everyday, just sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night). I think this should start becoming everyday.
I really want to start having an hour a week that Daddy keeps the kids and I go out alone.