Friday, October 22, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Girlie girl
I think it's been made clear that I am kind of sexist and old fashioned when it comes to gender roles. I really do believe that there are just certain things that women are made for and certain things men are made for. On the other hand, I definitely believe in things like educating women and that men can be sensitive and sweet.
For some reason, probably the person who is usually the one who says this, it really bothers me when people comment about Rayne "she's such a girl" because she just happened to pick the pink toy instead of the blue one at the moment. Rayne loves to wear these shiny bead necklaces that her grandma has, she kisses her stuffed animals, she likes barrettes in her hair. I suppose these things all make her "girlie," but she also loves her cousin's "boy toys-" little guys that talk and cars that roll and stacking blocks. Does this make her a tom boy? Of course not. It makes her a kid, a human. Probably if she was a boy, she'd love the shiny beads and kissing her stuffed animals too. It's what they do. They are learning to love, to express things, to put beads over their heads and they like bright shiny colors.
Perhaps it bothers me because it's like saying girls are only into make-up, looking pretty and pink. Okay, those things are fun as a girl. But I just don't believe they are completely innate. What I would like to nurture about her being "such a girl," is femininity and education and creativity and... if she happens to like make up and pink when she's older, fine. If not, she's not any less of a girl.
For some reason, probably the person who is usually the one who says this, it really bothers me when people comment about Rayne "she's such a girl" because she just happened to pick the pink toy instead of the blue one at the moment. Rayne loves to wear these shiny bead necklaces that her grandma has, she kisses her stuffed animals, she likes barrettes in her hair. I suppose these things all make her "girlie," but she also loves her cousin's "boy toys-" little guys that talk and cars that roll and stacking blocks. Does this make her a tom boy? Of course not. It makes her a kid, a human. Probably if she was a boy, she'd love the shiny beads and kissing her stuffed animals too. It's what they do. They are learning to love, to express things, to put beads over their heads and they like bright shiny colors.
Perhaps it bothers me because it's like saying girls are only into make-up, looking pretty and pink. Okay, those things are fun as a girl. But I just don't believe they are completely innate. What I would like to nurture about her being "such a girl," is femininity and education and creativity and... if she happens to like make up and pink when she's older, fine. If not, she's not any less of a girl.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
To Mom and Dad
I feel like I've been whiny lately (ie. the past year or so) so I wanted to say sorry. I really enjoyed being at your new apartment last night. It felt good and it felt right. I really hope that you can make the most of it and have it the way you want it. It looks great! You both really deserve to be happy and have things the way you want them.
I LOVED seeing Dad play with Rayne. It really makes me happy.
I LOVED seeing Dad play with Rayne. It really makes me happy.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Hope and Homelessness
My parents are moving. The house from which they are moving was my grandparents' house. My parents bought it when I was in college and living at home so I moved there too. It's an old house that needs a lot of work... I like to say it has a lot of potential. For example, it has a big old fashioned tub with no shower. Or, there is the huge, energy sucking, probably lined with asbestos furnace in the basement. But, it's in a great neighborhood that I loved taking walks in. And, I spent my college days there, probably the best times of my life :) Not to mention the childhood memories of my grandparents.
I am happy for my parents. They have been talking about their options for a while now and I kept hoping that they would do something. They aren't much for doing their own home repairs and with my dad looking at retirement, it's not like there's a lot of money to pay someone to do the work. Houses in this neighborhood are old and it seems like people like to buy them to gut them out and re-do them. I think my parents will be happy if they can truly sort through all their things and down size. I think letting go of stuff is hard but in a way it's freeing. I think they will be really happy with a bright, sunny apartment where if anything goes wrong they can just call maintenance. And, I'm really glad they are taking my little sister and nephew with them.
It's been fun seeing the new apartment and talking to them about how they will set it up. I can't wait to go visit them... and their swimming pool :)
It's strange when something you believed to be such a constant, changes. But, with that change comes hope for me that life is always changing. It's hard to imagine this change, even as I see it happening. It's hard to really imagine visiting them not at the house, but somewhere else. It's hard to imagine a lot of things in my life right now though and so to see something this unexpected come to pass, reminds me that I am kind of caught in a moment... but it too will most likely pass and change. That's what life does. And in that way, it's hopeful.
On the other hand... I probably shouldn't say what I'm about to, but I need to. I need to say it for me. I need to say it to let it go... somewhere...
I've also been very sad about them moving. Sure there are the memories and the letting go and the fact that change is just hard. But, selfishly, it scares me. Given my current life circumstances, my parents not having a house, my home, has made me feel quite completely homeless.
(This picture has nothing to do with them moving. It's a picture of where I live now and for some reason, I just thought it fit. Maybe next time I'm at my parents' house, I'll take a picture to have for here.)
I am happy for my parents. They have been talking about their options for a while now and I kept hoping that they would do something. They aren't much for doing their own home repairs and with my dad looking at retirement, it's not like there's a lot of money to pay someone to do the work. Houses in this neighborhood are old and it seems like people like to buy them to gut them out and re-do them. I think my parents will be happy if they can truly sort through all their things and down size. I think letting go of stuff is hard but in a way it's freeing. I think they will be really happy with a bright, sunny apartment where if anything goes wrong they can just call maintenance. And, I'm really glad they are taking my little sister and nephew with them.
It's been fun seeing the new apartment and talking to them about how they will set it up. I can't wait to go visit them... and their swimming pool :)
It's strange when something you believed to be such a constant, changes. But, with that change comes hope for me that life is always changing. It's hard to imagine this change, even as I see it happening. It's hard to really imagine visiting them not at the house, but somewhere else. It's hard to imagine a lot of things in my life right now though and so to see something this unexpected come to pass, reminds me that I am kind of caught in a moment... but it too will most likely pass and change. That's what life does. And in that way, it's hopeful.
On the other hand... I probably shouldn't say what I'm about to, but I need to. I need to say it for me. I need to say it to let it go... somewhere...
I've also been very sad about them moving. Sure there are the memories and the letting go and the fact that change is just hard. But, selfishly, it scares me. Given my current life circumstances, my parents not having a house, my home, has made me feel quite completely homeless.
(This picture has nothing to do with them moving. It's a picture of where I live now and for some reason, I just thought it fit. Maybe next time I'm at my parents' house, I'll take a picture to have for here.)
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