Welcome to MY home

Well, it sure has been a while. We have been living without internet for a month because.... (drum roll please...) we finally got our own apartment!!!!!!!! I can't tell you how excited I am and how great it's been. AND, it's a beautiful, BIG place! I tried to take pictures as we came in. Haha, we signed the lease, put down our deposit etc before seeing the inside! So, here's the story...
The bottom picture is the picture of our building. This top picture is the stairs going up to our door. We are on the right.
As you walk in the front door, this is our living room and HUGE kitchen! All our counter tops (kitchen and bathroom) are black. I'm surprised how much I like this.
This is the first bathroom. Yes I said first. When I saw it, I was amazed at how big it is. Then we went to the master bedroom and found out we have a second bathroom!
... a second bathroom with two sinks! The first few nights I showered, I felt like I was staying at a fancy hotel :)
I will post this and then try for more pictures. I'm kind of lucky to have a minute to even be on here. So, I better not chance it by trying to do too much at once.

West Valley Family Fitness Center

One weekend, Jeff's mom and grandma were taking his nephew swimming. Jeff invited us to go along. What a wonderful place we discovered!
Cautious at first, Rayne is now an expert at the duck slide and will go down over and over and over all by herself!
Rayne loves swimming with her Daddy and wouldn't leave his side!
I don't think this is a really great picture of either of us (I took it myself) but I wanted evidence that Caius and I were there too :) I had left my swimming suit at my mom's and didn't think I'd want to take the baby in the water anyway, so we just hung out. Turns out the water is warm and Jeff eventually pulled us in and Caius loved it!
We have since been back by ourselves and with Ben and Mel and their boys!

Lake Point Park

We found a wonderful little park near our house. We've only been a couple times because there is no shade and it gets hot and because I need Jeff to go with us to help Rayne while I carry Caius around. I'm thinking that when the weather cools off, we will try to go more often. Caius is pretty good about sitting in a stroller now when we play outside and Rayne is a bit more willing to do things on her own, so I think I can handle it on my own.She said the swings were awesome!

Of course my brave little girl didn't want to try the toddler slides but instead went first straight to the highest one of all!

Regarding my last post

Today I remembered reading that babies don't separate themselves from their environment. I'm not sure when this changes. I know they say the terrible twos are caused in part because the child is learning that they are their own person and they are asserting their boundaries. What I read gave the example that a baby will quickly learn that kicking the side of his crib results in the mobile shaking or making noise. He will then repeat this over and over. However, if the wind happens to blow the curtain at the same time and he notices, he thinks it is the result of what he did and he will try in vain and even get frustrated trying to cause the same result.
My thought of the day is that perhaps Caius' cries aren't so emotional as they are seeking a desired result. I'm hungry, I'm tired, I need mommy, I want to be held. This means that if my desired result is different than his, maybe it's not so hard or so mean for me to insist on it and teach him that this crying results in A and not B. I don't know if I can outlast him or remember that his little feelings aren't being hurt and I'm not doing him emotional/psychological damage, but I found this to be a helpful and interesting thought. What do you think?

Alpha Dog

A while back, my brother was talking about a t.v. show I think called Dog Whisperer. Apparently this guy does amazing things changing dogs' behaviors and his basic philosophy is that they are dogs, treat them as such. For example, dogs are pack animals and they look for an alpha. So, if you have dogs as pets, YOU need to be the alpha dog. It's not bad for the dog to know who is boss. It's not mean. You actually do them good by setting those boundaries and definitions.
They say the same is true of children. Children thrive in and crave boundaries and they need to know the rules and who is boss. I've been wondering how to let my two year old know that I am the boss. She obviously knows I am mom. She won't be away from me, she even asks permission about things. But, sometimes when I try to get her to do things, she is defiant. And the more I try to exert my alpha/mom-ness, the more she just gives it right back. I suppose the only way I "know" how to be strong and in charge is by trying to sound mean or in charge but that just gets her talking to me the same way and I feel like I'm just teaching her to be disrespectful and bossy.
As my brother talked about this show I wanted to say "but that's so mean" and "what about the dog's poor little feelings and need to be acknowledged as an individual and ..." Okay, perhaps those things are more true of children than dogs, but I like to think that dogs have more personality than just instinctive behavior. I know they do but the thing is, as he talked, more of it rang true than did my need to defend the dogs. And I really did think about children the whole time.
I wish I was better able to express all this because I think it's a really interesting idea and something I'm trying to figure out right now. I'm hoping/asking that anyone reading this will comment and think about things with me. I'd really like to know what people think and what their experiences are.
My baby is four months old now. He was an awesome sleeper until now. He had about 4 nights in a row where he slept until around 4 in the morning and then went back to bed until 7 or 8! I was excited. If he slept that well I might actually get some sleep! But after those few nights, he seriously has been up almost every night every hour or two. People say he's hungry. The doctor says he isn't, he's just looking for that comfort. I've tried several things and I suppose the details are more for another post. My question here is, I really go back and forth- do I go with his flow and try to hear what he's telling me he needs (he won't go back to sleep without nursing) or do I step up and say I'm the mom/alpha and this is how things are going to go? And how do I get the two year old to know I'm the boss? With her as well I want to be kind and nurturing etc and go with her flow but there is much more need to lay down some rules. I'm doing better but...
Perhaps if I weren't so sleep deprived I could discuss this all better, but please, let me know your thoughts.

3 a.m. list making

Last night I made a list in my head of what I want to give my children. I started at the basic thing I always said was going to be the most important to me: peace, security, calm. I was discouraged that I'm not even giving them that. Rayne woke up having bad dreams. I'm assuming that was the problem because she was pretty upset and talking about spiders. I don't even remember if Caius was up first or she woke him up by crying but I had them both up and Jeff, who was trying to get back closer to his night shift schedule, had just come to bed. We are all in the same room, there was no air conditioning starting sometime yesterday afternoon, and even what air we could get to come in from outside, was hot. So, I of course was grumpy and crowded and tired.
Once we settled a bit or I got my gripes out a tad, the guilt set in. Why can't I just remember that Rayne, who is so independent and communicates so well, is still just a baby who needs to be held? And poor little Caius never really complains about anything. He's such a mellow, happy baby. Even Jeff, my man child, tries hard to do the right thing and to take care of us.
I let Caius lay on the bed while I held Rayne and calmed her down. Then I put her on the bed between me and Jeff and got Caius to sleep. I tried to rub Jeff's back enough he knew I was acknowledging him and I prayed. Sometimes I beg that they will just sleep so I can rest. But it seems to work better if I pray that I will get rest and that I will know what to do for them and that I will stay calm and patient. Somewhere in here is when the list started. I tried to focus on having our own place soon and how I would set things up. That gave me positive thoughts and my list took on a life of it's own. It was neat to me how I started with the most basic thing, what I feel is the most important things I want to give to my family. That led to something else... if we have that, we can be that, if we're that, it creates this... I wish I could have written it down to remember it all. Perhaps if I start here again, at least some of it will come back.

Peace, comfort, safety
Happiness, laughter, self acceptance
Curiosity, exploration, self expression,
Love for others, love for self
...

Isn't she a bit young for that!?

One of Rayne's favorite snacks is peanut butter on crackers. Of course she eats off the peanut butter and I don't think she's ever eaten the crackers. Today she had six crackers. When she wanted more peanut butter I picked up the paper towel they were on and as I walked to the counter one fell off. I picked it up and threw it away, buttered the other five and took them back to the table. After a minute Rayne told me one was missing. How do you know one is missing? I asked her, surprised that she would even notice. She can count, but I didn't think she'd be that aware or remember it. She pointed to the spot on the paper towel where one was missing. She had lined them up in her pattern and knew that one was gone.

Rayne has discovered that she can jump quite well from the foot rest to the chair and have a soft landing. Today she stood up on the foot rest and counted out her jump: 1, 2, 3... she counted all the way to 15!

Rayne has been very proud lately of the things she can do "all by myself." She listed them the other day and then asked "what else?" Her list included putting on her own shoes, walking up and down the stairs, riding her bike, and drinking water from my water bottle without help.

I finally took Rayne to the nursery at church. She has been two weeks in a row and loves it! I was so scared about taking her. I knew I would never be able to leave her alone but I was afraid, even if I was there, that there would be a lot of crying or that she wouldn't know how to get along with the other kids. Of course, playing with other kids is a new thing for her and there is a lot to learn but I was afraid of her reactions. Plus, I was pregnant and then had a new baby and didn't know how that would work. But she has been stellar! She talks to the teachers and the kids and asks their names. She was willing, of her own accord, to trade the pink shaker she had for a blue one so the boy who wanted a pink one for singing time could have it.

We've had a lot of visits lately with cousins Rayne hasn't met before. She has been wonderfully amazing. I love to watch her and see how she interacts. She loves to share and pass out treats. She REALLY loves her Aunt Melanie and cousin Gina.

Rayne asks almost everyday now to hold Caius. If I leave him for a minute to go in the other room she'll follow me then say she has to go check on the boy. Often she'll tell him when he's crying, "it's okay, I'm here."
I just think Rayne is amazing!