A while back, my brother was talking about a t.v. show I think called Dog Whisperer. Apparently this guy does amazing things changing dogs' behaviors and his basic philosophy is that they are dogs, treat them as such. For example, dogs are pack animals and they look for an alpha. So, if you have dogs as pets, YOU need to be the alpha dog. It's not bad for the dog to know who is boss. It's not mean. You actually do them good by setting those boundaries and definitions.
They say the same is true of children. Children thrive in and crave boundaries and they need to know the rules and who is boss. I've been wondering how to let my two year old know that I am the boss. She obviously knows I am mom. She won't be away from me, she even asks permission about things. But, sometimes when I try to get her to do things, she is defiant. And the more I try to exert my alpha/mom-ness, the more she just gives it right back. I suppose the only way I "know" how to be strong and in charge is by trying to sound mean or in charge but that just gets her talking to me the same way and I feel like I'm just teaching her to be disrespectful and bossy.
As my brother talked about this show I wanted to say "but that's so mean" and "what about the dog's poor little feelings and need to be acknowledged as an individual and ..." Okay, perhaps those things are more true of children than dogs, but I like to think that dogs have more personality than just instinctive behavior. I know they do but the thing is, as he talked, more of it rang true than did my need to defend the dogs. And I really did think about children the whole time.
I wish I was better able to express all this because I think it's a really interesting idea and something I'm trying to figure out right now. I'm hoping/asking that anyone reading this will comment and think about things with me. I'd really like to know what people think and what their experiences are.
My baby is four months old now. He was an awesome sleeper until now. He had about 4 nights in a row where he slept until around 4 in the morning and then went back to bed until 7 or 8! I was excited. If he slept that well I might actually get some sleep! But after those few nights, he seriously has been up almost every night every hour or two. People say he's hungry. The doctor says he isn't, he's just looking for that comfort. I've tried several things and I suppose the details are more for another post. My question here is, I really go back and forth- do I go with his flow and try to hear what he's telling me he needs (he won't go back to sleep without nursing) or do I step up and say I'm the mom/alpha and this is how things are going to go? And how do I get the two year old to know I'm the boss? With her as well I want to be kind and nurturing etc and go with her flow but there is much more need to lay down some rules. I'm doing better but...
Perhaps if I weren't so sleep deprived I could discuss this all better, but please, let me know your thoughts.
One weekend, Jeff's mom and grandma were taking his nephew swimming. Jeff invited us to go along. What a wonderful place we discovered!
Cautious at first, Rayne is now an expert at the duck slide and will go down over and over and over all by herself!
Rayne loves swimming with her Daddy and wouldn't leave his side!
I don't think this is a really great picture of either of us (I took it myself) but I wanted evidence that Caius and I were there too :) I had left my swimming suit at my mom's and didn't think I'd want to take the baby in the water anyway, so we just hung out. Turns out the water is warm and Jeff eventually pulled us in and Caius loved it!
